Being Alone in the Crowd

“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone”

Blaise Pascal

Last week I had a chance to visit the famous Lotus Temple of the Baha’is in Delhi (The Baha’i Faith is the youngest of the world's independent religions - www.bahai.org). I availed a leave from the busy schedule in office to join my uncle who had come from Kerala and halted in Delhi for a day before proceeding to Rajasthan on a new mission. I just thought of spending the day with him. As the departure of his train was at night, we had the entire day with us. Therefore, after breakfast, we went out to Nehru Place to see the Lotus Temple and spend sometime in the premises. Though I have been staying very close to this place, I have never had the time to visit this place before.

As we were waiting there in the queue to enter inside, the volunteers welcomed us and briefed about the Baha’i faith and the specialties of the temple. It is envisaged to be a house of prayer and meditation for all regardless of cast, colour, creed or religion. With us, we found people from all walks of life – elderly people, young couples, students and school children. There was total silence inside the house, where I could not find any idols of deities or religious symbols other than an icon in the centre of the dome. The house is having seating facilities for nearly 1500 people.

The house was almost full when we entered and found our seats in a corner. Some of the visitors were trying to enjoy the artistic beauty of the structure, some others kept looking what others were doing and a few people seemed to be enjoying the tranquility and serenity inside the house. The absence of deities must have helped them to visualise the god of their choice in their mind. They also seemed to be enjoying the silence that prevailed in the great hall. I felt that the urge in man to be alone with his self is increasing. Spirituality of all ages inspires man to listen to himself for solutions to all his problems. For, we do not find anyone who can spare at least ten minutes with us to listen to our problems and offer a lasting solution. We hardly find ears that pay heed to our words. In fact, it has become one among the most common problems faced by mankind. Even within marital relations any kind of sharing hardly happens. We are, therefore, advised and trained to retreat from work and spend some time alone once in a while. I have always found this exercise very useful. Whenever I feel that I am in a dilemma I spend some time somewhere in loneliness to listen to the inner voice that gives proper directions to make the right decisions and get out of the trouble.

We are living in a noisy society where everyone keeps on talking endlessly about their achievements, hopes, despairs, dreams, etc through every possible means. Everyone wants to be heard, consoled and sympathized with. People feel that they can be happy only when they are in the company of others. They cannot tolerate loneliness. They look for solutions in people. But, be sure that people can never be what you expect them to be. You need to be happy with yourself as well as you are in the company of others. Be alone and silent for a moment to look inside where answers to all your queries can be found and where you experience the ultimate tranquility and serenity.

I will come back to this temple to enjoy the silence and to have more insights.

“All that is beautiful has always happened in aloneness; nothing has happened in a crowd. Nothing of the beyond has happened except when one is in absolute solitude”

Osho

Your words do not always fall into deaf ears

It was yet another day in office. The alarm in my mobile started ringing as I was looking into the matters of priority for the day. It was a reminder about the birthday of Mr. Jonas Richard who had taught me human resource management at my post graduate college in Bangalore. I thought of wishing him and looked for his contact number in my phone book. But, I could not find the number as it was stored in my old Motorola phone. I had used the phone for nearly four years before getting it pick pocketed by some clever chap while travelling in a blue line bus in Delhi. Anyways, I dropped the plan to call him up. Instead, I sent him an email with birthday wishes.
In the afternoon, I found a reply to my mail in the inbox. He wrote, ‘You are one among the few students whom I really admired. Continue to be in touch’. I was elated as none of my teachers ever had such a comment about me in my academic life. I grew eager to know what actually prompted my teacher to consider me as one among the selected few. Fortunately, his contact number was there at the bottom of the message.
I dialed the number and he picked up the call at the other end. He said, ‘it is really a surprise that I told my students about you this morning and when I reached home your message was awaiting me’. I sensed the amount of curiosity mounting in me. I asked, ‘what have you told them about me, sir?’ ‘I told them we remember certain people not by face but by their words’, he said. He continued, ‘do you remember the story you narrated on the occasion of my birthday during your first year in college?’Those days, we used to celebrate the birthday of all our faculty members. It was always the responsibility of the class representative to organize the function and speak a few words on behalf of the classmates. I said, ‘sir, I remember celebrating your birthday but I cannot recollect the story that I had narrated.’
To remind me and take me back to those days, he started telling the story. It was about a revolutionary, who had the dream of influencing the whole mankind, bringing changes into their lives and, thereby, transforming the entire world. He had this dream when he was a vibrant and energetic youth. Years passed. As he progressed to his middle age, with pain and despair he realized that he could neither influence anyone nor bring changes to somebody’s life and that half of his life was wasted. He decided to compromise with himself. He thought, “I do not know the number of days left in my life. But, during the rest of my life, I will strive hard to influence those in my close circle and bring changes in their lives”. He continued his efforts with added vigour. At last, he grew old and his days were numbered. He was taking stock of his life and got saddened by the realization that he had not been able to influence and transform anyone and that his entire life was wasted. At this stage, he had the ultimate realization that before setting out to influence and transform the whole world he should have attempted to bring the desired changes into his own life i.e. the process of transforming the society and thereby the whole world should start at the individual level.
I was reminded of the whole story when he started narrating but I listened to him till the end. I had read this story in the Sunday Supplement of a leading Malayalam daily years ago. I had kept that paper cutting in my diary for a long time and shared it with others whenever I had chances to speak.
I am sharing this incident with two objectives; firstly, to reiterate the message of the story which we have already heard from many sources and keeps on hearing but finding it difficult to put into practice; secondly, to share the limitless joy that you experience when somebody attaches value to your words.

you deserve to be treated

Have you ever felt that your struggles and sacrifices are not recognized by your organization as well as your family or they fail to appreciate and duly reward your efforts?
A word of appreciation, acknowledgement or gratitude is always the minimum expectation of every human being.
In the organization, after the successful completion of each assignment, you find yourself waiting in hope for a few words of encouragement from your boss but he looks at you with apathy and slowly walks away.
Back home, you find your dear ones awaiting your pay packet with their ever increasing needs and demands. You wonder finding them not much bothered about your hard toil to earn each penny and the little pleasures you opted not to satisfy keeping them in mind.
I grew up often hearing the complaint of my mother about her sufferings from the unending household chores which often went unnoticed by anyone in the family. I feel it is a universal problem that no one is acknowledged in commensurate with their efforts while everyone yearns for it.
Last month, during my annual holidays, I prepared a concept paper for one of the projects, which my organization was planning to undertake shortly, and forwarded it to my senior officer who was also holidaying. It was an immediate requirement as he was very much interested in that project. He was also doing some consultation with regard to it.
I started waiting for a call from him acknowledging and congratulating my work but it was in vain. I felt a bit frustrated. Later, when both of us were back to office, I came to know that he himself and the entire family was totally broken after his daughter performed very poorly in an important examination which would have given her bright future. He had arranged everything to make sure that she pursued the course of her interest in a reputed institute. So, ultimately one or the other circumstances hinder what is our due. Now the conclusion is that there is none other than you to recognize and encourage the performer or achiever in you.
Nowadays, after the successful completion of each assignment, I learned to tell myself, ‘well done’. It gives me the boost to forge ahead even in the so called apathy of the superiors.
Everyday, before leaving for the office, just look into the mirror and wish yourself a good day. It makes a substantial impact throughout the day.
And, occasionally take you out for a good dinner without anyone’s company. Get your favorite dishes and have it in a typical restaurant ambience. It is a treat you are giving to the person in you.
If you like to travel, arrange short trips to nearby locations. Let it be centers of spiritual importance, wild life sanctuaries or centers of eco-tourism. The time you spend in solitude and meditation will refresh and rejuvenate you to get back to your tasks with a renewed spirit.
Acknowledge, appreciate and encourage yourself in all the possible means otherwise you may wait endlessly for it to happen from those around you. You need the motivation and energy to further your horizons. Treat yourself in the best possible way, for, you deserve to be treated.
08-06-09

Good Friday at Chamundi Hills

This year’s Good Friday will be cherished for a long time since I could observe it in a very special way at Chamundi Hills, Mysore. I never imagined making a visit to the place on this day of great significance.
I was quite sure that the four days off from work starting with Maundy Thursday would help me to refresh and rejuvenate a while from the hectic schedule. I headed to Mysore on Thursday by the local train. The destination was, of course, the habitat, where my friend Vipin hibernates after resigning his job in Kolkata. At his apartment, I was quite sure of being fed four or five times a day. So, my only passion was to sleep, sleep and sleep. All his attempts to take me out during the day were in vain. In the afternoon, I found sometime to have a glance into the life of Julian-The monk who sold his Ferrari. What striked me in those first chapters was the philosophy that everything in life happens with a purpose.
On Friday morning, I woke up to the thought of making a ‘Way of the Cross’ as reparation for my sins, if I have committed any during the last year. My mother always insisted on her children to make it on this day. The thousand steps to Chamundi Hills suddenly flashed in my mind. Why can’t I make it a way of the Cross? After all, this place is known for the victory of justice over injustice and goodness over vice. In the life of Christ too the way of the cross leads to the triumph of truth and justice. My companion was more than happy to accompany me when the thought was shared with him.
In the afternoon, I found myself in a bigger group with Vini, my pal’s elder sister and a law graduate. Then, Vimcy, a Keralite and Teju, hailing from Manipur, also dropped in. These two are students of a leading law college in the town. They too were out for a walk as they were busy with various assignments in the morning.
I found Teju as the most enthusiastic and energetic member of our team. She climbed each step like a disciplined NCC cadet. Vimcy, being very much bothered about her ailing stomach, was always asking for a helping hand from Teju, which the latter offered willfully. Vini’s thoughts were, of course, centered around the new job she got on the same day in human resources management. Teju, in the meantime, shared with me the desirability of being a multi skilled employee during this time of slump. Her focus is now on doing the company secretary programme, which she thinks would give some extra boost to her prospects in the job market.
Reaching the top of the hill, we spent some time in the temple premises tasting tender coconuts to ease the little thirst and pains those thousand steps had given us. At twilight, the city, from the top, looked awesome with lights burning everywhere likes embers.
I found some Muslim women also there wearing burkhas. This place is one of tourist attraction in the city. Who knows if they were there with similar intentions like me? Anyway, in the presence of the Divine, there is no caste, colour, creed or religion. Everyone is like the sheep under the Great Shepherd.
I really felt grateful to my friends. We are one and together in the search of the ultimate good. We all cherish a collective dream for a better tomorrow. It would give us great satisfaction to know that our presence and efforts in this beautiful planet have contributed to make it a better place to dwell in.
We will flock to anywhere the moment we feel that it would give us a glimpse to the ultimate reality. We love these temples, churches, mosques, idols, monuments, traditions and rituals. And, our endeavour is always to find the divinity attached to them.
Do not come to us, you, forces of evil and malice. Do not ask our creed or breed. Our preference is not to be polarised and segregated. Let us continue to live as one body with one spirit and as we forge ahead thousands may be touched and transformed. And, we may grow to a world of all encompassing love that is beyond all the boundaries and limits set by our predecessors.

World Water Day

• Fresh water is the most important sustainer of human life after the atmospheric air we breathe.
• 71% percentage of the earth’s surface is covered with water. But of that only 3 percent is non saline.
• Lack of clean drinking water and sanitation is now the single largest cause of illness worldwide. In 2020 it will claim more lives than HIV.
• One human body needs between one to seven liters of water per day.
• The average urban home-4.6 people-uses 640 liters of water per day.
• A dripping tap can waste as much as 60 liters per day/1800 liters per month.
• A leaking toilet can waste up to 100,000 liters of water per year.
• A toilet is the biggest user of indoor water.
• On average, it uses 11 liters of water when flushed
• Water sources undergo biological contamination from sewage.
• Depleting ground water levels lead to higher concentration fluorides and arsenic, besides the recent phenomenon of nitrate pollution.
• Marginalized communities that rely on contaminated ground water are at a greater threat from diseases like fluorosis.
• Drawing more water out of the earth with the use of technology need to be controlled.

Let us sensitize those around us on this issue. Let there be water and let there be life on earth
Courtesy – The Times of India

thank you, brother!

“That delightful emotion of love to him who has conferred kindness on us, the very feeling of which is itself no small part of the benefit conferred”
Thomas Brown

Last Saturday my colleague dropped in to spend the week end with me. He is my senior officer staying alone as his family is in his home town. In the office, I always find him as an elder brother with so much concern for me. Besides, he always makes himself available to me.

I cooked something special for him and received his praises in abundance for the delicious stuff. At night, we spend many hours sharing each other’s experiences, both personal and professional.

On the following day morning, we also found some time to watch a highly acclaimed feature film. He left in the evening, saying ‘now you have become my confidante and our bond is strengthened’

At night I received an SMS from him, ‘Vipin, thank you very much for the sincere friendship and love. I really enjoyed staying with you’. I read it again and again because hardly my inbox gets the privilege of storing such messages.

We hear a lot of thank yous in our day to day life but very few strike us. Why? The reason is nothing but we can easily measure the amount of sincerity attached to it. Of course, a thank you makes a big difference when it is given sincerely and it becomes a lasting feeling when given through a message or a card.
My colleague does have a grateful heart and it is not because of my worth to be thanked. I still believe that the volume of what we have given is very less when compared to what we have received. But in how many instances we are grateful when we are at the receiving end?

Gratitude always emanates from one’s attitude. And, the attitude of gratitude has ever been a parameter that measures one’s altitude.

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich”
Dietrich Bonheoffer

Chalet of Love

Chalet symbolizes love……
All encompassing and all forgiving love
Chalet is a small wooden house found in mountainous areas, especially In Switzerland
For me, chalet is an abode of love made by two hearts
Of course in a mountainous area of Switzerland
This chalet is a special one to me
As a lot of good have come to me from there
Through Mr. Peter Raymond and Mrs. Anne Francoise

‘Chalet of love’ is my tribute to this wonderful couple who touched my life
Through their love, care and concern.
I would not have been able to be in the place where I am today
If I had not met them in 2004.
They extended and continue to extend their helping hand towards me and my family.
Before, I was afraid to dream beyond my village
But they took me out
And prepared me for life.

Nowadays, when I travel around, meeting people in need
I am reminded of the grace I received
I feel grateful to them
For their generosity, goodwill and sacrifices.
‘Chalet of love’ is my gift to them
On the occasion of their first wedding anniversary
Whatever strikes me as I progress in life
Will be brought to this beautiful chalet of love
For your kind reading, opinions and suggestions for improvement
Be in touch
Always…..

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I think my introduction to ‘Chalet of Love’ is incomplete without my message to them on the occasion of their wedding in February 2008. Please find it here;


On your wedding
Cheers to your integrity
Cheers to your togetherness
Cheers to your compatibility
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It has been a matter of joy
To know that you have been together
And it gets doubled at the thought that
You have decided to strengthen the bond
It is heard that
We are attracted to someone
Just because we find
Our personality in him/her
You two found yourselves
Totally and perfectly in each other
It is true every wedding occurs in heaven
And the heaven rejoices at this moment
Few things are required
To make our lives meaningful…….
A window that is kept open
A book to be meditated upon
Fresh flowers and leaves in the vase
And the caring hand of a loving person
You have found everything
And realized that it is time
To be in a mature relation
And to celebrate the pleasure
Of being together forever
You are invited
To the festival of this world
And your lives are blessed
Celebrate the happiness of being alive
Make everyday a holiday
And celebrate just living
The more you praise and celebrate your life
There is more in life to celebrate
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kindly accept the simple and humble
Wishes and prayers that come your way
Also those of my dear ones
Receive my greetings as it is from
A loving son to his caring parents